Not an artist: Five items from Oracle of Seasons that are not exactly what they seem.

 Five items from Oracle of Seasons that are not exactly what they seem.

Engine Grease: Tick Tock, the Horon Village clockmaker, is in desperate need of a beautiful bird to complete his most recent clock. The magnificent bird that Syrup gave Link for the mushroom is just the piece Tick Tock has been searching for to finish his magnum opus. In exchange for the masterfully crafted bird, he gives Link some engine grease. To be fair, he probably only uses the highest quality lubricants, but the trade still feels a bit one-sided.

The grimy antique brass lamp is a fully functional lamp. Unfortunately, no amount of cleaning will ever restore its original luster. Also, no amount of rubbing will release a djinni to grant you three wishes.

Phonograph: Just east of Horon Village a windmill sits atop a tall cliff. The windmill has seen better days and doesn’t spin as fast as it once did. If Link is willing to give Guru-Guru, the organ grinder and spinning enthusiast the engine grease to help the windmill, Guru-Guru will give Link a phonograph to take his music on the go. After a fresh greasing, the windmill is almost flying and Guru-Guru happily plays along at a much faster tempo.

The phonograph is the final item in the Oracle of Seasons trading quest. If Link gives the phonograph to a Deku Scrub in the edge of the Lost Woods, Link is told the secret of navigating the lost woods to find the resting place of a magical sword waiting for a true hero.

Holophones were created in retro designs that matched whatever era was in vogue at the time. This holophone looks like an antique phonograph player, but instead of just playing music from a record, the holophone projects realistic holographic images and sounds. The projection can be changed by the user, but the old-timey looking phonograph will look very out of place with an ancient or futuristic program.

Fertile Soil: The Great Maku Tree needs Link to recover all eight essences of the seasons before the tree has enough power to overcome the spell protecting General Onox in their great tower. The first essence is the fertile soil from which all new life springs. This essence is guarded by a horned dragon in the depths of the Gnarled Root Dungeon.

This plant lives among many carnivorous plants but is actually perfectly harmless. It is almost indistinguishable from the local carnivorous plants, which helps it from being eaten by animals. The plant also benefits greatly from the amount of natural fertilizer the nearby carnivorous plants make when the blood and viscera of their victims squirt onto the nearby ground.

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Summer is starting in the northern hemisphere where means school is almost out for many western students. If you know a student who has toiled through school during this joyless and taxing year, I hope you give them credit for everything they have done. Even the students who don’t feel like they have really third this year deserve recognition for having to learn how to do school entirely differently this year. I’m hopeful that next year is a bit easier on everyone, but to get there we all need to work together to stop the spread of COVID.

If you are in a place with a strong vaccination push, don’t just assume that the pandemic is over if you can’t see it in your neighborhood anymore. This is a global problem that needs global solutions.

Be excellent to everyone, ask your representatives to prioritize healthcare for all domestically and abroad.

-Ceph