The Speaking Squid

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, January 25, 2026

The Minish Cap: A token from an important day

A token from an important day

Farore’s Charm: This boon is given to Link if he can secure a home for the oracle Farore, one of three visiting oracles interested in settling in Hyrule Town. This charm moderately increases Link’s attack and defense when consumed. Once Link helps Farore move into her new home, he can visit her with an empty bottle whenever he needs a new dose of her charm.

You don’t really wear bowties, but you keep this one because it was from the day you said, “I do”. Everyone said you all were crazy for having lime green for your colors, but it suited you just fine. It will probably never get worn again, but every time you bump into looking through your closet for something else, it reminds you of that day and all the days that came after.

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If you aren’t a fascist, things are pretty heavy here in Minnesota. If you are a fascist, Minnesotans are doing a great job you know you aren’t welcome. Please don’t look away and ignore what is happening here in Minnesota. Face the history we are living through directly.

How to support me:

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, January 18, 2026

The Minish Cap: A token to remember the journey.

A token to remember the journey.

Din’s Charm: This charm is given to Link after he helps Din, one of three visiting oracles, find a home in Hyrule Town. The charm is a consumable drop of power that temporarily turns Link red and increases his attack power. Once Link secures Din a home, he can always return to her with an empty bottle to receive a new charm to use in his adventures.

These simple red bracelets are tied to the wrists of pilgrims arriving at their destination. While these charms commemorate completing a life changing journey, no one would think of the charm as precious or worth preserving. The charm is worn until, threadbare, it falls off when it is supposed to, leaving you with the final reminder that we never truly arrive where we are going and we always have somewhere to travel to next.

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Whenever I get these tied on my wrists at temples during Songkran, I inevitably end up a little sad when it falls off sooner than I expected.

I live in Minnesota in the US and the federal government is still operating a racist terror campaign under the guise of enforcing immigration law. The citizens of Minnesota are banding together to show love and support to their immigrant neighbors and to tell the unwelcome ICE agents to fuck right off.

How to support me:

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, January 11, 2026

The Minish Cap: Wedge of cheese

Wedge of cheese

Yellow Picolyte: Picolytes are consumable supplements that grant a brief boost to the chance for finding various items based on which picolyte is eaten. Yellow picolyte increases Link’s chances of finding rupees. Link can only purchase yellow picolyte after clearing the carpet in Hyrule Town for Beedle and bringing Lon Lon milk to the Minish researcher studying the Pico bloom plant.

Having a simple wedge of cheese means you are prepared for any meal. Grate it into soup, slice it onto sandwiches, or just take a bite for a snack. The next time you go traveling, make sure you wrap up a stiff white cheese as your stalwart companion.

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Federal agents acting under orders from the U.S. government murdered a woman in Minneapolis, Minnesota. This act of violence shows the reckless disregard for constitutional rights and public safety that typifies the Trump administration. If you are able, please ask your leaders to pressure and sanction the U.S. government until it changes its behavior.

If you want an apolitical space, this isn’t it. America is currently ruled by a violent and despotic regime that is ignoring rights and laws domestically and internationally. If you let this continue, it will be worse for many people.

This is a heavy after blurb for such a pastoral post, but the government killed an onlooker for not making their jobs easy enough. We are worried and we need help.

How to support me:

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, January 4, 2026

The Minish Cap: A suspiciously friendly radish.

A suspiciously friendly radish.

White Picolyte: Picolytes are consumable supplements that grant a brief boost to the chance for finding various items based on which picolyte is eaten. White picolyte increases Link’s chances of finding kinstones. These picolytes are available as soon as Link can clear a space for Beedle to open his shop in Hyrule Town.

The rightful leader of our kingdom has been usurped and replaced by a villainous changeling. The true heir has been cursed with the shape of a radish headed scarecrow carved with a simpleton’s grin. This time of year, every farmer, gardener, and rancher has put up a radish topped scarecrow to greet harvest spirits, which makes finding our prince almost impossible.

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The USA illegally invaded Venezuela after illegally attacking Venezuelan ships all while illegally arresting those they deem undesirable. We are the villains of our own story. The Trump administration is a blight that illustrates just how vile America can be.

How to support me:

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, December 28, 2025

The Minish Cap: A poisoned apple

A poisoned apple

Red Picolyte: Picolytes are consumable supplements that grant a brief boost to the chance for finding various items based on which picolyte is eaten. Red picolyte increases Link’s chances of finding hearts. These picolytes are available as soon as Link can clear a space for Beedle to open his shop in Hyrule Town.

An apple treated with the deadliest poison in all the realms. Eating such an apple can kill even the hardiest person. A single bite is enough to put a person into a sleep like death from which they might never wake.

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In my playthrough of Oblivion Remastered, I actually used the poisoned apples to kill as part of the Dark Brotherhood quest line. While it was annoying to set up the rooms and tedious to wait for NPCs to sit down to dinner, the payoff of watching the poisoned apple actually slay my target was delightful. I definitely did not have the patience to sit through that when I was playing Oblivion as a kid.

How to support me:

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, December 21, 2025

The Minish Cap: Everything you need to get to the ball for one low low price.

Everything you need to get to the ball for one low low price

Orange Picolyte: Picolytes are consumable supplements that grant a brief boost to the chance for finding various items based on which picolyte is eaten. Orange picolyte increases Link’s chances of finding fairies. Link can only purchase orange picolyte after clearing the carpet in Hyrule Town for Beedle and bringing a red potion to the Minish researcher studying the Pico bloom plant.

This spell can turn any gourd into a full-sized carriage outfitted for regal comfort. You will need to supply your own horses and staff, but we have another spell available to turn local fauna into highly effective horses and staff. As a special offer to you, our most loyal customers, if you purchase both transfiguration spells, we will throw in a personal glamour to make you appear as a well-to-do noble for no extra charge.

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I grew up on fairy tales and infomercials. I think that is a bit obvious.

How to support me:

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, December 14, 2025

The Minish Cap: Mangetout

Mangetout

Green Picolyte: Picolytes are consumable supplements that grant a brief boost to the chance for finding various items based on which picolyte is eaten. Green picolyte increases Link’s chances of finding mysterious shells. These picolytes are available as soon as Link can clear a space for Beedle to open his shop in Hyrule Town.

Mangetout was the dying word of La Chevalier Vert as they grasped your hand in their final moments. Their falling hand left the most peculiar gift in yours, a single snow pea pod. You were supposed to find the knight and get their help, now all you have is a dead knight, a snow pea pod, and the strange command “mangetout”.

Mangetout is French for “eat all” and it refers to snow peas because you can eat the peas and the pod. I learned that because of a very fun song from a very fun band.

Mangetout by Wet Leg. Check it out. Your welcome.

How to support me:

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, December 7, 2025

The Minish Cap: Blueberries

Blueberries

Blue Picolyte: Picolytes are consumable supplements that grant a brief boost to the chance for finding various items based on which picolyte is eaten. Blue picolyte increases Link’s chances of finding items such as bombs and arrows. Link can only purchase blue picolyte after clearing the carpet in Hyrule Town for Beedle and bringing Mt.Crenel mineral water to the Minish researcher studying the Pico bloom plant.

These are just really nice blueberries. In a world of poised apples, dragon hoards, and destined heroes, a couple of fine berries don’t seem important enough to warrant a second thought. It is their mundanity that makes them so special, a perfectly ordinary thing amidst the supernatural and unexplainable.

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I’m not sure if this drawing needed the leaves, but they are there and there is nothing to be gained by editing something so minor.

How to support me:

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, November 30, 2025

The Minish Cap: A glowing bamboo shoot

A glowing bamboo shoot

Fairy: Link can catch fairies in empty bottles found in fairy shrines or discovered in cut grass or broken stones. When Link falls in battle with a fairy still in a bottle, the fairy leaps out of the bottle and heals Link, saving him from death.

A lonely couple living simply as bamboo cutters deep in the mountains always wanted a child, but were never blessed with a one naturally. One day, the bamboo cutters were gathering mature stalks when they spotted a bamboo shoot growing unseasonably late. When they approached the shoot, it opened revealing a baby, answering their prayers for a child with this heavensent foundling.

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I rewatched The Tale of Princess Kaguya as a parent for the first time recently and the movie really hit differently. It has been such a gift watching my kid grow up. Now some parts of movies I just watched without connecting to are some of my favorite parts of the story. Small moments of babies being babies or of real moments from parenting really resonate. I love that Ghibli includes these more ground aspects of life in otherwise fantastical tales.

How to support me:

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, November 23, 2025

The Minish Cap: A simple cup for a carpenter

A simple cup for a carpenter

Mt.Crenel Mineral Water: This verdant mineral water can only be found on Mr. Crenel and is only used to fertilize a special variety of beanstalk that grows on Mt. Crenel.

Before you is every type of cup you could imagine. How can you hope to find the one true grail hidden among all the choices? The only advice I have to give is, “choose wisely.”

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Growing up right as CGI started to look really good, I have sadly watched practical effects dwindle in modern cinema. Some of my favorite effects are the supernatural deaths from the Indiana Jones movies.

How to support me:

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, November 16, 2025

The Minish Cap: The Often Pouring Pitcher

The Often Pouring Pitcher

Water: Plain water held in an empty bottle. Link can scoop up fresh water and use it to water bean stalks and put out fires.

The Everflowing Ewer held a limitless supply of water, but it was accidentally destroyed by questing knights. This lesser vessel, the Often Pouring Pitcher, can slowly fill itself to the brim over the course of a few hours. While that isn’t enough to save an entire village from drought, the pitcher is enough to keep a home well stocked with cool clean water.

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While the actual experience of playing through the everflowing ewer quest in Oblivion isn’t wonderful, the lore and flavor have always stuck with me, and it is one of my go-to legendary artifacts that aren’t immediately game-breaking for my home games.

How to support me: