The Speaking Squid

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, August 23, 2026

The Minish Cap: A pie cooling on the windowsill

A pie cooling on the windowsill

Slice of Pie: The bakery sells pie by the slice. Eating a slice only heals a single heart, but, like most baked goods in the Minish Cap, there is a chance the treat has a kinstone baked inside.

Stealing a pie cooling on a windowsill is a transgression, but it doesn’t warrant a curse mark appearing on your face. Such signs are reserved for dire sins like kin-slaying, oath-breaking, or cannibalism. You’ve got no family, and swear no oaths, so what was in that pie, and who lives in that big house at the end of Smoke Street?

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I wonder what a world would be like if there were objectively wrong transgressions, and enacting a transgression made a visible mark upon your body. Would the virtuous be as nude as possible? Would the wicked and wealthy pay to have their marks removed or hidden?

Did American Pie make up the idea of warm apple pie, or was that actually part of some people’s teen discovery discussions?

How to support me:

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, August 16, 2026

The Minish Cap: Wedding Cake

Wedding Cake

Slice of Cake: Link can buy delicious slices of cake from the bakery, but they aren’t very good for him and only heal one heart when eaten. There is a chance a kinstone piece has been baked in as a special surprise.

Royal weddings are affairs of state, not romance, The binding of two families together concentrates power and influence. As such, there are often rival families who would be eager for the wedding to go awry and the two families be put at odds instead of aligned.

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For our wedding, we went with two cakes from a local bakery known for amazing cake. Now, whenever we want to celebrate our marriage, we can go to that bakery and get a slice of the same cake we celebrated with on that special day. Also, you can just buy a cake topper and make any cake a wedding cake.

How to support me:

Thank you for your support.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Sunday, August 9, 2026

The Minish Cap: Heiress’ tiara

Heiress’ tiara

Red Rupee: These crimson gems are worth 20 rupees on the open market. Link can find these rarely as random drops from slain enemies, slicing grass, digging holes, or breaking pots, but more often these rupees are found in treasure chests or given as rewards.

The lost heir to the now deposed royal family would be a woman grown if she survived the royal purge. Their grandmother, who was away during the bloody coup, has almost given up hope that her missing grandchild will ever be found. You can’t remember your childhood before the workhouse, maybe she is your missing family.

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The animated Anastasia film may not be historically accurate, but it is one of my favorite films from my childhood. You can do some pretty good estimating of my age using just that clue.

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