I'm not an artist: Five items from Link's Awakening a burglar would have.

Five items from Link’s Awakening you can find in a cat burglar’s bag.

Mermaid's necklace: These pearls replaced the mermaid’s bikini top in the american releases of Link’s Awakening. It was clearly a reflection of the values of the time to censor the implication of a topless mermaid. 

The Pearls of the Empress are a string of flawless pink and white pearls held together by gossamer strands of translucent kelp. It was the prize of the undersea exhibit in the Royal Museum of Imperial Expansion. The museum houses the spoils of the many expeditionary crusades that pushed the empire to its furthest extent. News of the theft has been kept from the public. Those with knowledge of the theft believe it to be a political statement. After many years of stagnation, the empire’s control has begun to wane. Official fear news of the theft would be seen as a symbol for the reclamation of power back from the empire by the peoples that have been absorbed by its expansions. Seeking to avoid widespread rebellion, the Imperial Police have abandoned official protocol in the search for the pearls.

I'm not an artist: Five items from Link’s Awakening that you could find in a Merfolk Ambassador’s suite.

Five items from Link’s Awakening that you could find in a Merfolk Ambassador’s suite. 

Magic rod: While this rod may appear to be generic in its magical properties, it can really only throw fireballs. However limited the magic in this rod may be, Link gets a lot of mileage out of this bottomless Roman candle.

One must carry an ambassador’s scepter of office to be recognized as an emissary of the Merfolk Diaspora. Holding the scepter keeps the bearer’s skin from drying out when outside of water, allows them to breathe air or water interchangeably, and offers the ability to communicate in the major languages of whatever area the ambassador is stationed. When a new ambassador is appointed, the scepter is presented to them as part of a secretive ritual that links the new owner to the scepter.

I'm not an artist: Five archaeological items from Link's Awakening.

Five items from Link’s Awakening that could lead to the location of a missing archaeologist. 

Letter: A love letter written by a goat pretending to be a beautiful woman. That sentence is why I enjoy soft fantasy as a genre. A millennia of established world building isn’t needed to have a Goat live in Animal Village.

A letter from the archaeologist Dr. Colleen Tannis has arrived requesting funds for her next expedition. Dr.Tannis has a reputation for pursuing forbidden histories and secrets better left forgotten. For the last few years, Dr. Tannis has been searching for the lost city of Inan. Legends speak of the fateful night when the many sages of Inan sought to elevate one of their own to godhood using a long lost ritual. The stories do not agree whether the ritual was a success, but they do all agree that every inhabitant of Inan and those in the surrounding area were killed in an instant. Few in academic circles truly believe the infamous city ever existed, but Dr. Tannis is undeterred. Since this letter was postmarked almost four months ago and no one in the academic world has heard from Colleen in almost six months, Dr. Tannis is probably obsessing over artifacts uncovered in some far-flung dig site after securing funding from some private source.

I'm not an artist: Five Link's Awakening items found in an Academy for Witches.

Five items from Link’s Awakening you can find at the Sibylline Academy for Witches.

Broom: Link is given the broom in thanks for delivering a letter to a lonely man in a long distance relationship. The relationship is actually a sham. Mr. Write is actually being catfished as the photo included in the letter is not representative of the letter’s author. 

Any witch worth their salt rides a broom. In her youth, Josephine Sibyl was bullied mercilessly for being too poor to buy a broom. Instead she had to borrow a worn broom from the school and return it at the end of every semester. Josephine Sibyl eventually rose to fame as a wildly talented witch and champion of the common people. Her adventures earned her much renown and even more gold. When Josephine founded the Sibylline Academy for Witches, she left it an enormous endowment to ensure that any student in need have the equipment essential for an arcane education provided at no cost. The endowment has grown over the many years due to Sibylline graduates happily donating to the endowment that gave them the tools to succeed when they were in need. 

I'm not an artist: Five Items from Link's Awakening you can use this Labor Day Weekend.

Five items you could use this Labor Day weekend appearing in Link’s Awakening.

Small key: A minor key with plenty of uses. I drew this one as a more modern house or lock key. I don't think many people would be too offended at this apocryphal key shape appearing in their pseudo-medieval fantasy settings. If you are one of those offended people, I guess stay out of my topsy-turvy genre blending universe. 

With summer unofficially coming to a close, racers are scrambling to secure spots in the last big race of the season. Alejandra Ricco has had a great season, but with her recent disasters on the track she needs something like a miracle to finish the season on the podium. While working under her car after hours, Alejandra heard what sounded like footsteps approaching her workbench and then her keys falling to the ground. Alejandra didn't see anyone when she came up from below the car, but she found nine identical keys on her keyring that weren’t there early that day. Each key was warm to the touch with “wanna race?” etched into its face in a script she could barely decipher. Ever curious, Alejandra stuck one of the keys into her ignition and the car roared to life. In the same instant, the key was consumed in a gout of flame. For a few hours after, the car was in pristine condition but it slowly deteriorated into the same mess it was before and now also smelling of Sulphur. With nine races left in the season, has she just wasted an opportunity she can’t get back or can she find a way to win the season on her own without the help of the mysterious benefactor?