Wind Waker: An abominable hook from Wind Waker.

An abominable hook from Wind Waker.

Hookshot: The hookshot is the main dungeon item in Wind Waker’s Wind Temple. It is primarily used to pull Link to an otherwise unreachable location, but it can also be used to flip switches, grab items, and stun enemies. In addition to these traditional uses of the hookshot, the hookshot has an additional synergy with the iron boots. If Link is wearing the iron boots when using the hookshot he becomes too heavy to be pulled and instead pulls whatever the hookshot strikes towards him. This is especially helpful when you want to pull down heavy stones blocking your path.

Never ask a pirate about their past. Especially when that pirate appears to be the corpses of a few different pirates sewn together and reanimated through the unholy union of forbidden magic and as yet unheard of science. One of this pirate’s three arms ends in a sharp hook that they use as a grapple to reel in the unsuspecting using the chain connected to the hook’s base.

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Neither Pudge nor Stitches, from DotA and Heroes of the Storm respectively, have a pirate skin which I think is a missed opportunity. A Frankenstein’s monster/zombie pirate with a wicked hook and cutlass seems pretty fun.

If I was one of those really crunchy homebrewers, I might go make this monster, but I would just give whatever monster a ranged hook attack that can pull victims near to it. Since it would be that monster's one special thing, I wouldn’t put too much effort into keeping it balanced.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Wind Waker: My favorite zelda boomerang from Wind Waker.

My favorite Zelda boomerang from Wind Waker.

Boomerang: This boldly yellow boomerang is the main dungeon item in the Forbidden Forest, a forest island entirely inside the stump of a once titanic tree. Link can use the boomerang to flip switches, grab items, and stun enemies. While targeting, Link can select up to five targets that the boomerang will fly through before returning to his hand.

This boomerang was gifted to a young hero after they rescued a storm spirit that had been tricked into bondage. The spirit took the shackles that once bound it and reforged them into this bright boomerang. The elemental powers bound within this boomerang allow the thrower to guide the path of the boomerang. 

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The cartoony visual of this boomerang is the perfect representation of the evocative visual style that Wind Waker brought to the franchise. It doesn’t need the gritty realism of Twilight Princess to have a compelling story. The story is no less epic for having a delightful and wacky visual style.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Wind Waker: A far ranging rifle.

A far-ranging rifle.

Bonus Sniper: This sniper rifle has a longer range than any firearm forged by mortal means and it is whisper quiet when fired. Those two factors should make this the ideal tool for an assassin specializing in long-distance hits. The problem is the rifle shines with an incredible light when fired, revealing any hidden position. One clever assassin has figured out that the rising sun effectively masks this idiosyncrasy, earning them the nickname, Last Sunrise.

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This item is just a scope on the rifle representing the light arrow last week. I think it is a useful enough difference to make an additional rifle mini-set.

That is the last post of lots of technically different firearms for a while. Next week we’ll get back in the swing of Zelda items with the best boomerang ever.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph

Wind Waker: A tool for fighting night creatures from Wind Waker.

Wind Waker: A tool for fighting night creatures from Wind Waker.

Light Arrows: The light arrows are the final item Link obtains in his adventures, earning them in Gannon’s Tower by defeating an illusion of Phantom Gannon. The light arrows are a goddess-granted superweapon that can slay any normal enemy in a single shot and are the only thing that can weaken Gannon enough to be slain. Light arrows are vital in defeating Gannon. First Link uses them to defeat Gannon in various forms, and then Zelda takes up the bow and light arrows to work together with Link so that his evil can be sealed away.

Radiant arms were crafted in secret for the soldiers who knew the true enemy was not the English, but the vampiric shadow sovereign pulling the strings. The vampiric government sought to piggyback on the brutal colonialist expansions to spread their influence around the world. Armed with weapons imbued with the light of day, a small group of fighters seek to hold back the tide of darkness.

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Vampire colonists were done well in Magic the Gathering’s Ixalan expansions. While I do not play MtG at all these days, I do try to keep up with the lore.

Apropos of colonialist expansions, I wonder what a version of Jared Diamond’s Guns, Germs, and Steel would be like if magic existed or if the gods were active interventionists? Guns, Germs, Steel, and Sorcery. Gods, Guns, Germs, and Steel.

Be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph