I'm not an artist: Five items from Ocarina of Time you could find at a birthday party.

Five items from Ocarina of Time you could find at a birthday party.

Cojiro: This blue cucco is not only remarkable due to its odd coloration, it is also extremely quiet, especially since its owner left. Looking at the cucco in context, I assume that it is a visual pun since the cucco is sad, or blue, that its friend is gone.

Look at what the petting zoo people brought to the party.

OMG. What is that thing?

I have no clue. I made a mistake when I checked the “something interesting” box when I couldn’t decide between the farm animals and safari animals.

Weirdest thing is they put up signs on the inside of the cage that say no pecking.

I hope the rest of the party is going better than that thing looks.

Odd Poultice: Special medicine requested by a poacher in the Lost Woods, the odd poultice is made from the odd mushroom given to Link by Grog, the poacher, after Link reunites Cojiro and Grog. When Link arrives to the place Grog was, he finds a Kokiri girl who explains that Grog has succumbed to the curse of the Lost Woods and become a skeleton monster. Such is the fate of any non-Kokiri that get lost in the strange forest.

At least the alien brain cake the kiddo asked for turned out. Remind me to thank you again telling me about that custom bakery.

Wow that looks amazing.

Far Realm bakery is the best.

With enough of those cakes, I bet someone could take over the world.

Odd Mushroom: When Link finds Cojiro’s owner in the Lost Woods, they ask that link rush this strange mushroom to the potion shop to make a much needed medicine. Little explanation is given, only that Link has three minutes to run to the shop before the mushroom goes bad.

This has been the party from hell.
The kid has been on a mushroom kick lately so they asked for an extra mushroom pizza for the party. The pizza came with all these fancy mushrooms and I’m not sure the little birthday monster is going to even eat it.

Who puts morels on pizza?
 Tell them they’re alien mushrooms.

Seems like they can’t get enough of anything alien these lately.

I’ll give it a shot.

Thanks for letting me vent. You are a lifesaver.

OMFG. These things might actually be aliens.

I opened the box to start dishing and these things were crawling around on nasty tentacles.

One got out before I could get the box shut!

Are you okay?

Did it attack you?
You should call the pizza place.

You shouldn’t have to pay for food that tries to eat you.

Well, that weird chicken from the petting zoo ate the rogue shroom.

It is looking a bit queasy though. Hopefully this party can hold itself together until the magician is done and the other kids can get picked up.

Poacher’s Saw: Demanding that the products of the forest be returned to the forest, Fado offers the saw of the ill-fated poacher in exchange for the poultice. We will never know if the medicine might have staved off the curse.

Ugh. I didn’t remember magicians being this boring.

I’m going to die if I have to see this idiot pull another rabbit out of a hat.

The kids are probably loving it.

Magic is just more fun when you are young enough to believe.

I need you to get over here NOW.

The magician disappeared.

So they really wowed you with the finale?

No, that psycho snuck out of here before anyone could realize what was happening.
They were doing the old saw a person in half trick. They went backstage with the legs and never came back out. When we went to look for them, the van was gone and now I have to figure out how to explain to some parent that we all watched their kid get sawed in half and we don’t know where their legs are.

On my way.

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This post represents one year for this blog. It is wonderful to have a personal outlet for my creative energies that I can also point to as a collection of things I have actually completed.

I hope you enjoyed the epistolary format. Writing both sides of a fictional text conversation was much harder than I expected.

As I was researching the items to write this post, I was interested in a forest that turns all trespassers into malevolent undead. I wonder if Grog’s plan would have worked. Could a person inoculate themself against the forest’s power by consuming a potion made of forest mushrooms? Would it even be possible to reverse the curse? From my perspective as a GM, I think I could run a series of sessions just exploring this plot.

Please use my work personally as you see fit, but do not profit from my efforts without my consent.

Always remember to be excellent to everyone.

-Ceph