Sunday, February 23, 2020

I'm not an artist: Five items from Oracle of Ages you can find on your backpacking trip around the Mediterranean.

Five items from Oracle of Ages you can find on your backpacking trip around the Mediterranean.

Rock Brisket: The Goron guarding the upper section of Rolling Ridge is very hungry but can’t leave their post to grab a bite. Rock brisket is just the thing to sate the hungry Goron. Unfortunately, the only place to get rock brisket in Labrynna is by winning the Target Carts game with a perfect score. Once Link has mastered the game, he can trade the rock brisket to the hungry Goron for a vase passed down the Goron’s family for generations.

Today was my first full day in Europe. I got in last night just in time for dinner, which was amazing. The owners of the farm we are working at this week made a delicious pit-roasted lamb which was to die for. We are going to spend a week working at the farm before visiting a few of the larger tourist trap cities. We don’t have anything planned after that, so we will just go where the wind takes us.

Goron Vase: In exchange for the rock brisket Link is given a vase that has been passed down through generations of the hungry Goron’s family as a treasured heirloom. Link can then take this vase into the past where he can trade it to an ancestor of the hungry Goron that is looking for an object worth becoming a family heirloom. We are left to wonder where this vase came from before Link trapped it in a time loop.

I know I’m going to use amazing too much in this journal, but spending all day at the Acropolis Museum was amazing. I feel like I could easily spend an entire week there and never tire of the place. I saw a pot that looked like it depicted Atlas or Sysiphus but not in any way I had seen before. Maybe it is an older version of the story that had been warped through the many retellings.

Goronade: In exchange for the heirloom quality vase, the Goron ancestor gives Link a bottle of refreshing blue Goronade. It seems like Link is getting the short end of that stick, but he has made some questionable trades in his many adventures.  Based on the fact that Gorons eat rocks, I assume this drink is just various salts dissolved in an acidic fluid.

I can’t say that the last few days have been all that amazing. To be honest, I’m not even sure what all happened. When we got to Corfu, the owners of the hostel where we were staying recommended a night club popular with the locals. The last thing I remember is leaving the club with a few people to smoke. After that, everything just goes black. The next thing I know, I’m waking up in a hospital bed and the nurses are telling me I was found unconscious in a pool of my own blood behind the club. They say I was beaten up and mugged, but I’m not sure that explains why I’m covered in bite marks. I need a few more days of blood transfusions before I am fit to travel.

Lava Juice: This is another Goron food item obtained by doing well in a mini-game. If Link can score 100 or more points in the Goron Shooting Gallery he will be rewarded with a bottle of lava juice that he needs to secure a proper introduction to the Graceful Goron

With my stay in the hospital, I don’t think my dream of visiting every Mediterranean country in Europe is going to happen this trip, but I still wanted to visit more than one country. I took the longest ferry ride of my life to Italy and have been slowly making my way east to west. Today was my first day in Pompei and it was, you guessed it, amazing. Today was the first day I felt like I was really on vacation since the hospital in Greece. I wasn’t up for a full tour of the ruins, but I did go to the museum cafe for an afternoon snack. The coffee smelled delicious, but it tasted ashy and made me sick to my stomach. I think I might be getting sick again though because I have been really sensitive to sounds and bright lights and I feel like I could sleep all day. 


I hope you enjoyed my little story that was a pretty obvious rip off of An American Werewolf in London. I’m doing some research about Mediterranean vampires I found out that the word vrykolakas comes from a Slavic word for werewolf and that they ate human livers. Who knew right?

Please use my work personally however you see fit, but do not profit off my efforts without my consent. 

Be excellent to everyone. 

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