Sunday, April 5, 2020

I'm not an artist: Five items from Oracle of Ages you could use at summer camp.

Five items from Oracle of Ages you could use at summer camp.

Funny Joke: Link is given this hilarious joke by the only comedian in Lynna City in exchange for the cheesy mustache. It seems the comedian needs something to make people laugh and he is resorting to prop comedy. In exchange, he says he will teach Link the funniest gag he knows, but how funny can that be since he needs wacky facial hair to liven up his act.

          Hello again from camp,

It has been HOT for the last two weeks. Most days I just split my time between swimming in the lake and snacking on popsicles in the shade. I think the popsicles are from a different country because the jokes are written in a language I can’t read.

Not much else going on lately. Hope you are having a great summer. 

Can’t wait for your next letter.


Touching Book: Traveling into the past era, Link can tell the comedian’s funny joke to a sorrowful child named Dekadin. The sad boy’s spirits are lifted upon hearing the punchline. So much so, he gives Link a tear-jerking book to show his gratitude. It should be noted that Dekadin’s house in past-era Lynna Village is in the same location as the comedian’s house in current-era Lynna city. This heavily implies that Link establishes, yet another, stable time loop.

          Greetings from Camp Downpour, 

It has been raining for three straight days, and not just a little drizzle, it's been torrential. All the usual out-doorsy camp activities are canceled so I have been spending most of my time in the library reading the oldest strangest looking books I can find. Some of them are even written in the same language as those foreign popsicle sticks. I am going to try to translate those, just to pass the time.

I hope you are having a better week than I am. 

Your friend at camp.

Magic Oar: During Link’s travels through Labrynna, he will intermittently run into Maple the Witch. I literally mean he runs into her, as the two of them collide, sending their items flying everywhere. Link has to rush to grab as much as he can before Maple grabs everything and flies away. If Maple runs into Link while he is carrying the touching book, she grabs it and gives Link the magical oar in exchange.

          Introducing, the solo canoe obstacle course CHAMPION,

You read that right, I won the annual canoe obstacle race. I even beat some seniors who have been doing this race since they were ten. I don’t know what happened. I was just in the zone. The moment I started paddling I felt like the lake was speaking to me. Maybe I am just a born rower.

Anyway, with the canoe race over, the only big event this summer is the talent show. Maybe I could row a canoe for my talent, but I don’t know how I’d do it on the stage.

Read ya later.

Sea Ukulele: Link can take Maple’s magic oar to Rafton the raft master. Rafton is hoping to enter some raft races, but he can’t find a proper oar to race with. If Link is willing to part with his oar, Rafton will give him his ukulele. Rafton recommends playing the ukulele while lazily gazing at the moon on a cloudless night.

          Hello from a future rockstar, 

I know I haven’t written much in a while, but I have been too busy practicing for the talent show. I am going to play this wicked guitar I got in this stuffy junk shop in town. Everyone in camp has been talking about all the amazing deals at the store. I thought it was baloney until I went in and saw this amazing flying V. The owner must not be all there, if you know what I mean, because he sold me this guitar for a tenth of what it’s worth. 

I can't wait for you to watch me at the talent show. Be prepared for some truly face-melting solos though.

See you soon. 

----------

The world is still a fucking nuts place. Some parts of the world are doing much better than others in keeping the curve flat for COVID-19 cases. I, an American, unfortunately do not live in a place that is doing that well. I think the foreseeable future will be locked down, or at least severely restricted in an attempt to beat back the surge of COVID-19 cases. 

One of the many sad side effects of all the cancelations is that my city’s summer has already been officially canceled. Hot damn. 

Please use my work personally however you see fit, but do not profit off my efforts without my consent. 

There are many people in desperate need of assistance. We are all citizens of this world, so be excellent to everyone. 
-Ceph

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