Sunday, February 21, 2021

Not an artist: Four items from Oracle of Season you can find in buddy comedies.

Four items from Oracle of Season you can find in buddy comedies.

Spring Banana: Oddly enough, this banana only grows during Spring near the peak of Mt.Cucco. The rare delicacy can only be reached by hitching a ride on the flying cuccos that give Mt. Cucco its name.

The bananas are given to Moosh, the flying panda, in exchange for his help in navigating the many pits and precipices of Mt. Cucco. Without Moosh’s help, Link would not be able to scale the mountain and reach the Dancing Dragon Dungeon.

Nothing can wreck a morning more than slipping on a banana peel and falling face-first into the cake for the party this afternoon. Nothing can make a worse first impression than having your new partner slip and fall on a banana peel you couldn’t quite get into the compost bin. Now the two of you are going to have to work together to find a replacement for the cake you ruined before anyone else finds out.

Member’s Card: This card denotes the owner as a member of the exclusive club that is allowed to shop in the basement of the Horon Village Shop. This gives Link access to an upgrade to his seed satchel, semi-precious gasha seeds, and a treasure map showing the locations of rare jewels.

To earn such elite privileges Link needs only head to the Subrosian shop and buy the card for a handful of ore chunks. How the Subrosians running the shop got the card will remain a mystery. Probably the two annoying brothers who stole Link’s feather stole the card from someone.

As members of the fish and wildlife service, you often have to deal with wild animals, but you never expected how wild your day was going to get. On a routine call about a moose sighting, you and your partner find out what really happens when you give a moose a muffin.

Master’s Plaque: This plaque is the macguffin in the fetch quest that the Master Diver in the Sunken Village sends Link on to prove that Link is worthy of the flippers. To obtain the plaque Link needs to enlist Dimitri the aquatic dodongo’s help to swim up a waterfall near the Master Diver’s cave. Once in the cave, Link must somehow strike all four eye blocks in the cave with a single stroke. Thus opening a secret passage to a room with the plaque in a chest.

You and your team are almost done with the project with the absolute worst boss in history. The only joy in that petty tyrant’s life is the stupid fake crab hanging on the wall behind their desk. On the final day, after shipping the product, the boss is in for a surprise when they find their stuffed crab has been replaced with a real Mudcrab, which happens to be known for violently defending their nest.

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With all the crazy weather happening in the US right now, ice in the deep south, and ultra frigid wind chills in the northern midwest, it is important to remember that climate change is a real thing with real-life consequences. Global warming increases the total amount of energy in the Earth’s weather system, which leads to more extreme weather, both hot and cold weather. 

If you don’t believe in climate change, you are living in a fantasy world. And not a fun fantasy world with destiny and good prevailing over evil, but a crappy fantasy world where logic doesn’t work and fools are somehow equally as credible as experts.

I got my first dose of Moderna’s COVID vaccine last Friday. I haven’t had major reactions to the shot, but I know most people have stronger reactions to the second dose. I’ll let you know how that goes because I want everyone to get the vaccine as soon as they are able.

COVID is still a thing, climate change is still a thing, wear a mask, write your representative to push for systemic approaches to carbon emission reductions, be excellent to everyone.
-Ceph


 

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